Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I vo(mi)ted


Election Day is next week! Yes friends, the polarizing parade of lies is almost over! As of next week, no longer must we block our "friends" for posting annoying, partisan rhetoric. No longer must we endure an idiot's understanding of rape, flip-flopping, or (God forbid) another debate. Soon, we will be free of these multi-million dollar vagina monologues. 

I haven't voted since 2000. I don't see the point. Our current Electoral College system is such that certain “battleground” states will elect the President. No matter which candidate I back, my state and my vote will mean little, if anything.

Still, I was planning to vote this year. There are some local elections and a few propositions that I am passionate about, so I figure I might as well go stand in line for a few hours. To prepare, I sat down with my voter’s guide, started to read over the propositions, and was promptly disgusted. The arguments for and against this year’s batch of propositions so insulted my intelligence, that it made me want to throw things. 

For example:


So either I’m further damaging our economy by throwing money down a hole to feed rapists (there’s that issue again) and cop killers, or I’m saving wasted tax dollars to protect innocent men, whilst getting more rapists and cop killers off the street. The sensationalism and manipulation are enough to turn anyone off. Are you for or against? Are you Liberal or Conservative? Democrat or Republican? Coke or Pepsi? Paper or Plastic?



Since honesty is off the table and it seems that spin is the order of the day, I find myself yet again disenchanted. If I could ask for anything in this election, it would be for more choices. My favorite candidate, Racist Ron Paul, wasn't even taken seriously. In my opinion, the corporations decided that they couldn't control him like they could Romney, and so Ron was marginalized and written off. The media convinced many that Ron Paul was a tin foil hat wearing idiot, and poor Ron didn't have enough money to convince them otherwise. 


Both guys are working at their own self interest while claiming to act in the best interest of your bank account and your sex life. Our quest to make and keep as much money as possible is almost as polarizing as where one puts his penis. Meanwhile, these clowns spend millions trying to become President, and we’re all supposed to believe that they're doing it out of the kindness of their own hearts. They want to be President because they love America so much, right? We as a country constantly ask "What's in it for me?", and these powerful millionaires give up 4 years of their lives to do the most stressful job in the world for (by comparison) chump change? I was born at night, but I wasn't born last night.



The corporations make it rain like Little Wayne so that their pony gets picked, and yet, these candidates will wax patriotic, as if they give a crap. Well if you love America so much and you want to serve, why aren't you in uniform? Where were you in Vietnam, Mitt? I volunteered to serve this country because I believe that the people of the US are worth fighting for, but our political system is screwed. There's so much bureaucracy and blind allegiance to a given party that things rarely get done. And who is paying for all of this red tape? We are, sometimes with our lives. 

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